


Smiles

by NadirKhanforPrez



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alternate Universe- No Hunting, Cas saves the day, Destiel eventually, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I have mixed feelings about the guy, John is still an asshole tho, Kid Fic, M/M, My First Fanfic, Teen fic, The Winchester Bromance, This is pretty short guys, When Cas decides to show up basically, but he's a terrible person in this, i have no clue what im doing, short and sweet, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 14:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8895307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NadirKhanforPrez/pseuds/NadirKhanforPrez
Summary: In which Sam smiles, Dean doesn't so much, John is a jerk and Cas is an angel.





	

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sam was smiling. Sam was always smiling. He liked the way it made him feel, like he was on top of the world and nothing could touch him there."
> 
> The going is always tough before it gets better and our boys are learning that the hard way...   
> Some angst and what I hope is some Sam introspective narrating.   
> (Warnings for Child Abuse)

Sam was smiling.  
Sam was always smiling. He liked the way it made him feel, like he was on top of the world and nothing could touch him there. Not even clowns… He hates clowns…

  
But Sam also liked the way that when you smiled at people smiled back. Like a magic trick, it just pops out of thin air and hops on another person’s face. Sam loves it when that happens. He doesn’t know why, there’s this warm feeling in chest that he could never explain to Dean. For an older brother, sometimes Dean is quite misunderstanding sometimes. He’d probably freak out and drag him to a doctor. And Sam _hates_ the doctor…

  
Sam doesn’t like frowns, when he sees them, he gets this weird pull in chest that makes him want to make that person happy. Happy is what wants to make Dean when he frowns but Sam doesn’t know how, maybe that’s why he doesn’t like frowns. They remind of times when Daddy and Dean… Sam doesn’t like thinking about that either….  
Most of the time, Sam likes living with just Daddy and Dean, but sometimes he feels like there’s a hole in their family. Sam doesn’t have a Mommy anymore, not that he ever remembers having one to begin with but sometimes he feels as if he misses her. Sam knows that seems stupid but when Dean tells stories about Mommy, he almost feels as if he has a mom. Dean tells stories about her songs and sandwiches and her smiles. Then, Dean gets this sad look and Sam doesn’t make him anything after that. Sam doesn’t like it when Dean is sad.

  
And then sometimes, Sam doesn’t like living with just the three of them. And that’s when the monster comes, the monster that looks like Daddy and smells funny. Sam never smiles when the monster comes, he can’t bring himself to after either. There’s a great big hole in his chest that sucks all the happy feelings out Sam. He hates that feeling…  
He hates when the monster comes, it yells and sounds so angry. Sam wonders what made the monster so mad but he can’t bring himself to think about that when the monster screams at Dean. And Dean looks so scared. Dean shouldn’t look so scared, Dean’s his older brothers, big kids aren’t scared of anything. But the monster is the most terrifying thing Sam’s ever seen in his life. But Dean says that the monster can’t get him in the closet or under the bed or wherever Dean hides him when they hear the familiar crashes and angry words. There’s fear in Dean’s eyes when he stuffs Sam in the chosen hiding spot.

  
_“It’s okay Sammy, he won’t find you Sammy. I promise, I’ll keep him away from you Sammy. I promise._

  
After that Sam, can’t really see anything but he can hear. And he wishes he couldn’t. Sam hates the sounds that follow the whispers of comfort from Dean. He hears the mean words the monster yells, he hears the sounds of skin on skin contact and he hears Dean’s whimpers. But Dean never cries out or yells back, sometimes Sam wishes he did. If Dean is keeping the monster from Sam, who is protecting Dean?

  
Sam likes to think that if Mommy was around, the monster won’t come. Mommy would protect Dean so he wouldn’t be covered in bruises and hurt all the time. Mommy would protect them from the cruel words of the monster. But Mommy’s not here, they must deal with the monster’s wake in their own ways.

  
So, Sam smiles because it gets rid of the feeling that the monster leaves.

He smiles at everyone but Dean is always different…

  
Dean has a special smile because he means much more to Sam than everyone else.

  
Its Dean that holds him after the monster leaves, Dean who comforts him when Daddy doesn’t seem to care about either one of sons, it was Dean who punched that older kid when he shoved Sam, it’s always Dean who kisses his cuts and scrapes better, its Dean that hugs him after school, it's Dean that makes him feel safe and loved.  
Nothing bad is ever gonna happen to Sam when Dean is around, he says so himself. And Sam trusts Dean, cause Dean loves him and would never ever lie or hurt Sam.

  
Sam loves Dean with all his little being but he’s not good at talking so he smiles. But it’s okay, Dean understands. He always does.

 

A/N: Hey guys, I know I promised Cas and fluff and all that's here is angst. But it's coming! Next chapter if he decides to show up but I promise soon. I just wrote this super quick in about 30 minutes in between studying for finals. I tried to make the sentence structure and words pretty simple seeing as though I see Sam being about 5 or 6 during this, if the story seems to be jumping topics quickly that would also be the reason why. The next chapter will hopefully be up either Thursday or Friday after I finish my finals! Please review, I honestly don't know what I'm doing and would love to know what I'm doing wrong! I hope everyone has safe and happy holidays!! 

-Ollie :)


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